


Watch Your Phraseology

by completelyhopeless



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, things are implied so it could be gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:19:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2682281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through the years as Natasha's partner, he's learned what not to say to her.</p><p>Or, five times Clint saw someone else's mouth get them in trouble and one time he said something he shouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watch Your Phraseology

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scribblemyname](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblemyname/gifts).



> For the prompt: _[Marvel Cinematic Universe, Natasha Romanoff, don't use violent clichés, she'll take you seriously](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/576010.html?thread=80650506#t80650506)_
> 
> I saw this and of course my crack-fic minded brain and the bunnies and miniBuckys wanted it written.
> 
> I just implied stuff in the last part, so this can be taken either way.
> 
> Title is a shameless pull from "The Music Man." My friend says it to me or her kids or her husband a lot, so it stuck with me.

* * *

Really, they should have known the first time it happened, when someone said, “hit me” during a card game and Natasha did. It wasn't a punch that put anyone into the wall, and the agent might have deserved it for something he'd said, but later Clint would realize he should have paid more attention to that moment.

* * *

Someone actually asked her if she was armed to the teeth.

He still had the scar from where she bit him.

* * *

Fortunately, the person who said, “I'd like to see you try, darlin'” to Natasha when she factually informed him she could kill him any of a hundred ways without using her hands was a mutant with a healing factor who apparently couldn't die, though to Clint's mind, he came damn close.

He made a conscious decision never to say the words “kill me now” to her all the same.

* * *

 

Clint counted himself fortunate that he was not the idiot that told Natasha she was “breaking his balls.”

Every single day.

After seeing that, though, Clint made a list of everything not to say to Natasha and considered it the reason he was alive and intact today.

* * *

 

One of the other agents Natasha had been teamed with actually told her to break a leg.

Clint winced every time he saw the cast, feeling guilty for failing to warn them, but then again, he'd figured it was kind of an isolated thing, only happening to men who were idiots enough to provoke Natasha. That poor woman never stood a chance.

* * *

He slipped, once, and said a different combination of words, a cliché and a curse all at once. He should have known that she'd take that seriously.

That one, though, he didn't regret.

Even if he should have.


End file.
